Parallax Propeller on Linux w/SimpleIDE

I recently got an issue of Nuts and Volts Electronics magazine to find the first article mentioning the Parallax Propeller 2. What is the Propeller, and why would I want it? The propeller is like a microcontroller/Arduino, and it is like an FPGA. It has 8 cores (P2) which can operate independently. In a perfect world, this means you have 8 microcontrollers on one chip.

Propeller and Linux Traps

So, you come from the RPI world, and you want to use the P2 on Linux. Great. But, let me warn you. There are a lot of dead ends in Propeller world. The quick answer to get it working is do the following:

1. Use Debian Buster (possibly stretch or jessie)
2. Use the PropellerGCC website here: https://www.sites.google.com/site/propellergcc/
3. Download the .deb package.
4. Install with gdebi (if you don't know what that is, look it up)
5. Connect to the board with an FTDI - USB adapter, or the propeller prop (I used a standard FTDI cable, and it worked no problem)
6. At least on the Mini, RX and TX are swapped. I shit you not. RX on the FTDI goes to RX on the Mini. Don't ask me why this was done.
7. DTS on FTDI connects to RESET on mini. Mini is powered by 6.5-12V+. FTDI RX/TX is 3.3V.
8. Should "just work"

That's the tl;dr. Now for what does NOT work.